I’m Positive

positive-light

Hello! Again apologies for being so slow to update but its been a busy time.

If you follow me on Twitter you will see that I quit the job. The relief was huge and has lasted. It all came to a head last Thursday. There was only so much bitching, pettiness and bad management I could take.  I was sick of working 6 days with no notice, of not getting a break and of being treated like crap.  In the end I was very calm about it, I didnt shout or make a scene but I stated my grievances and asked that my resignation be accepted immediately- then I skipped down the street. I’m not going to write down everything that lead up to it cos I wouldn’t make a lot of sense to anyone else but me but trust me, it was bad.

So now I’m jobless again but I am able to sleep and dont have that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach every morning when I wake up. Money wise I’d gotten some tax back the week before and I had been putting some money aside in case of this anyway. I should be hearing about an interview date later this morning and I’ve been in touch with some more agencies so I’m not too worried. In fact I’m less worried than I was when I was made redundant in February. I just have a good feeling about things. I know I did the right thing because I had a dream the other night that I had to go back and the terror that I felt at that thought was far worse than not having a job!

Apart from that Weight Watchers in going well. I’m keeping withing my allocated points and exercising. I’m off to Killarney next weekend with the girls for 2 of their 30th’s and looking forward to that. I just need to find something nice to wear.

It feels so much better being positive about things right now. A lot less draining.

Medium

hands

On Friday night I went to see a Medium. Believe me, its not the type of thing that I would normally do but my friend L had gone to see this woman a few months ago and found her excellent. She went to see her in Wexford but she was in Costa on holidays so I decided I might as well go cos I’d only be wondering otherwise.

I wasn’t too nervous about going til I was just about to go in. She was nice,  normal looking (not that I was expecting Mystic Meg!)- she just seemed like someone who was on her holidays. She took me into the apartment bedroom and explained what she did. At the start it seemed like none of what she was saying applied to me. She was getting strong grandmother spirits who were gentle souls- that is not a term that could have been applied to either of my grandmothers. She wasnt getting anything about my Mum, well not directly but there were a few things that applied to her. I told her why I was there and asked a few questions that she was able to answer. I didn’t get my hopes about it so I wasn’t too disappointed by what she was or wasn’t telling me. She did say about my Mum that she had gone too soon and was pretty accurate about exactly what was wrong with her.
Some parts were certainly accurate, she told me I had wanted to be a teacher and that I felt I wasn’t living up to my potential and I needed to do something about that. She saw me teaching but maybe not mainstream. That was accurate as I trained as an adult literacy tutor last year and would like to take that a bit further. She said that since December things had gotten very hard for me and that I was in a situation that I wasn’t happy with (work)

She said I wasn’t very interested in men and that I had a lot of issues within myself that I needed to work out before I could progress relationship wise. She also told me that I over analyzed everything and that was holding me back. She gave me a lot of names of people who were in my life which was a bit strange. Before I left I drew my “angel” cards and she saw a daughter in my future but again I’m taking that with a pinch of salt. She mentioned about eating for comfort, not necessarily with me (even though I know I do) but with someone around me.  She mentioned a  2 stone weigh tloss which WILL be me.

Personality wise I would say she was dead on. Regarding the spirits, yes there was some correct information, there was some bits that I didn’t have a clue about but thats OK. Would I go again? Probably not. I was curious, I wanted to see what it was like and now I’ve satisfied that curiosity.

Apart from that I’m still on the job hunt. I feel a bit better about things knowing that I’m being proactive about getting things sorted. I really do want to do a course in September but that’s proving difficult with this job as I wouldn’t be finished in time I do feel like I’m not living up to my potential and that’s spurring me on.

Diet wise I’ve been hitting a bit of a plateau so I’m doing a boot camp with some of the other IPDers. The only problem with that is that once I knew I was doing a boot camp I ate all around me over the weekend. I’m back on track now and giving the IPD another strict 2 weeks. If that doesn’t work I may join Littlemisswonders doing Unislim at home. I’m also doing to up my exercise again and  really aim to reach my Christmas goal.

Pound For Pound

weightloss

I don’t want this blog to be totally about diet and weightloss but it’s part of my life at the moment so it’s on my mind. This morning I finally plucked up the courage to weigh myself at the gym. Put it this way it was what I expected- no worse though which is good. I’m not going to say what it is right now but I have realistically 2-2 1/2 stone to lose. I know it’s a lot but I can do it. I’m hoping to reach my target by Christmas.

I’m still sticking to the pig-to-twig plan although as I mentioned last post things took somewhat of a back seat with my birthday etc. I’m re-focused now though. I know with this diet the key is being prepared and that’s what I need to remember. It’s important to go for the healthier low-carb options as well. I’m also keeping up with the Couch to 5K programme and am on week 5 now. I’m just back from the gym and I managed to do the 5 mins run, 3mins walk  for the required 21 mins which I’m pleased about.

I’ve decided to get a Wii fit, my hope is that it will keep me focused (as well as being a bit of fun) From what I’ve seen of it I like it.

I also bought My Fitness Coach recently and if you have a Wii I highly reccommend it. It’s a bit like an exercise DVD but its much more tailored to the individual that a DVD would be. The exercises are good, pretty varied and at the end of a 30 minute workout you feel that you’ve worked. You can choose how long you have to workout, what area you want to focus on (cardio, flexibility, upper/lower body or yoga) It’s pretty simple to follow. My only criticism with the exercises is that I think they presume you know yoga when you begin, however there are tutorials available. Oh, and the music is pants but  just turned it off and play my own music on my laptop.

Anyway Im motivated, as I mentioned on Twitter yesterday I tried on a pair of pants yesterday that didnt fit me at all about 6 weeks ago. I would estimate that I’ve lost about a stone already. I does depress me that I let myself go so much over that last couple of years. I had a lot of stuff going on in my personal life but that’s no excuse really. I’m not going to dwell on that though, it’s time to move on.

I can do it, I’m just determined that this will be the last time I have to!

Run Along Now

Gym_Run

In a bid to increase my exercise I’ve started running- well jogging at the gym. For the past few months I’ve been avoiding the treadmill but recently it’s been beckoning to me and I can’t ignore it any longer.

When I was going to a different gym a few years ago I used to run every session but I got out of the habit. I think part of it is the fear that I’ll look stupid running or falling off the treadmill but at this stage- who cares? I feel like my weight loss has hit a bit of a plateau and I want to move past it. Also I feel like my gym routine is a bit pants and I need to do a bit more otherwise what’s the point?

I know a lot of the beaut.ie girls are seeing great results from their running group and I wish I lived closer so I could join but I’m too far away so I  guess I just gotta go it alone, ah well.

So last week I braved the treadmill, I did some online research and rather than just doing my own thing I’m going to follow the Cool Running Couch to 5k programme, I started properly on Saturday and didn’t collapse so I think I can handle it. Lets see what the results are.

My Time

LetsFocusOnMe-main_Full

Over the last few months I’ve let things go with myself a little bit and I’m not feeling the best for it. I’ve always been a bit girlie- into make up etc but for some reason I just haven’t felt like it. Some of it’s been the weather- when its cold you’re so wrapped up that you think “Who’s going to see me?” . Some more of it has been to do with lack of confidence over the past couple of years and that’s what need to be changed

Things are changing though. My diet is going pretty well. There’s been a few slip ups so I’m re-reading the book and trying to make a few changes.  I’m losing weight, exercising taking vitamins and being pretty healthy.  I have more energy, I’m trying to make some future plans and I’m fed up of feeling blah about me! I’m planning to go shopping on Tuesday and pick up some new clothes and other bits, I’m getting my hair done on Friday, going to Take That on Saturday (yay) and I’m going to start looking after myself again, having pamper evenings starting tonight that I haven’t done for a while (facials, manicure, body scrubs etc) and just generally doing things for me. I’ve already started by having a clear out and I think that’s also helped to clear my mind out and focus me a bit.

I don’t think you need to wear make up all the time -if you’re just going to the shop for the paper who cares? This isn’t about vanity. I do think though that you have to work with what you have and make the best of it. I need to build up my confidence and be ready for what’s around the corner. I think its about time!

Time to Raise the Stakes.

bigstockphoto_Diet_695563

As I mentioned in a previous post I am currently following the Idiot Proof Diet ( also known as Pig to Twig) I’m doing this along with some of the girls from Beaut.ie and we’re emailing and encouraging each other. I’ve always been a bit of a yo-yo dieter and I’m sick of it. This is my fourth week following this plan and so far it’s going OK.

Its based on a low-carb plan but not as severe as Atkins, bits of it are really tough though- you can’t have fruit in Phase 1 and some veg is restricted. Also the only non alcoholic drinks allowed are water (3 litres a day is recommended, my poor bladder!!!) and decaf tea and coffee. I’m not weighing myself at the moment but I have been feeling a lot lighter, however I’m the type of person who wants results NOW!!! I also think I have to watch my portion sizes a bit and cut out the cheese. I’m going to stick with it though- the weekend was a bit of bummer, although you’re allowed alcohol- well spirits I feel the V&Ts on Saturday didn’t do me much good. The other slight problem I’m having is without going into too much detail is that it seems to affect “regularity” .

Anyway  I am determined to lose weight- even if it takes me a while, I will do it. Part of the IPD is that you need to write out your stakes so I’m going to do it here as a reminder for me and well, maybe you’ll be interested.

  • Health, I don’t want weight to affect my health in later life
  • I want to go shopping and buy whatever I want
  • I want to wear a bit less when it’s hot and feel good.
  • I want to feel confident in my clothes
  • I want to wear great jeans
  • I want to pose for photographs without cringing that I’ll look huge in them
  • If I get invited to an occassion (wedding/holiday/party/nightout) I don’t want to feel sick thinking about what I’ll wear.
  • I have a lot of clothes from when I was thinner that I love and want to wear again
  • I want to wear skirts, strappy tops, shirts and tight t-shirts.
  • I love fashion and want to follow it more

I am quite tall and have a larger frame. I know I look my best when I’m around a size 12-14. I’ll never be a size 10 and that’s fine with me. I’m not weighing myself for a while because I know I get a bit obsessive so I’m just going to go by measurements and my clothes for a bit.

I think my stakes are high but worth it and looking at that list  achieving that is more important than eating a tub of Ben and Jerry’s.