I’m Positive

Hello! Again apologies for being so slow to update but its been a busy time.

If you follow me on Twitter you will see that I quit the job. The relief was huge and has lasted. It all came to a head last Thursday. There was only so much bitching, pettiness and bad management I could take.  I was sick of working 6 days with no notice, of not getting a break and of being treated like crap.  In the end I was very calm about it, I didnt shout or make a scene but I stated my grievances and asked that my resignation be accepted immediately- then I skipped down the street. I’m not going to write down everything that lead up to it cos I wouldn’t make a lot of sense to anyone else but me but trust me, it was bad.

So now I’m jobless again but I am able to sleep and dont have that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach every morning when I wake up. Money wise I’d gotten some tax back the week before and I had been putting some money aside in case of this anyway. I should be hearing about an interview date later this morning and I’ve been in touch with some more agencies so I’m not too worried. In fact I’m less worried than I was when I was made redundant in February. I just have a good feeling about things. I know I did the right thing because I had a dream the other night that I had to go back and the terror that I felt at that thought was far worse than not having a job!

Apart from that Weight Watchers in going well. I’m keeping withing my allocated points and exercising. I’m off to Killarney next weekend with the girls for 2 of their 30th’s and looking forward to that. I just need to find something nice to wear.

It feels so much better being positive about things right now. A lot less draining.

I’m Grateful…..Really

Reading over my most recent posts and Tweets they’ve all been pretty whiney so I’ve decided to “count my blessings” in the hope that being positive will change my luck.*

• I have a great family who love me.
• I have some wonderful friends but 4 in particular who I know would always be there for me.
• Through blogging and Twitter I’ve also made some ace friends who have gone through some of the same things I have and think the same way I do.
• I’m healthy.
• I’m getting happier with my body and developing a better attitude towards food.
• I’m able to handle my feelings and emotions in a much better way than I used to, I’ve been through some of the worst times in my life and come out the other side, this has made me stronger.
• I’m pretty intelligent (I think)
• I have good skin and teeth!
• I am debt free.
• Even though I live at home I have total freedom and can save some money for my deposit.
• I have a car and can drive anywhere I want, whenever I want.
• My current work situation is only temporary!!!!!!!!
• I’m a good person.
• I live in a nice place, near the sea.

*Normal moaning will resume shortly…….!

Gimme a Break!

Not a lot of time at the moment to update- sorry! Basically my life has revolved around trying to get another job. Where I am hasn’t improved, its deteriorating rapidly infact. I’ve never (including summer jobs etc.) had such a bad job. Between being messed around with pay, being spoken to like I’m a piece of rubbish, chronic Health and Safety issues and not having enough staff to cover days off so being told I HAVE to work six days you can kind of get the picture. Honestly I’m 28 with a college education, not 15 working in a summer job!!

I’m trying to develop an attitude of letting it roll off me. As I’ve said it’s a means to an end and I WILL get something else. I went out last Friday night with the last company I worked for (who are closing) and the difference was unbelievable. I know I was spoiled working there and theres bound to be a difference but believe me, there’s no comparison! I know I’m overqualified for the job I’m in now and they’re using the current job situation to their advantage and taking the pee out of me! Part of me feels like walking but the other part of me wants to wait til I know I have something else to tell them where to stick it!

So for the last few weeks I’ve been applying for any suitable jobs, I’ve also been onto the recruitment agencies. I should have an interview coming up shortly for a much more suitable job. I’m sick off applying for things and not getting responses. I know I’m qualified for these positions, it’s just so frustrating!

I’m also really missing not getting to the gym as much and finding it really hard to stick to my diet due to stress and not having enough time. I really need to get myself sorted and rectify that as well for my own sake- no more excuses.

Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Medium

On Friday night I went to see a Medium. Believe me, its not the type of thing that I would normally do but my friend L had gone to see this woman a few months ago and found her excellent. She went to see her in Wexford but she was in Costa on holidays so I decided I might as well go cos I’d only be wondering otherwise.

I wasn’t too nervous about going til I was just about to go in. She was nice,  normal looking (not that I was expecting Mystic Meg!)- she just seemed like someone who was on her holidays. She took me into the apartment bedroom and explained what she did. At the start it seemed like none of what she was saying applied to me. She was getting strong grandmother spirits who were gentle souls- that is not a term that could have been applied to either of my grandmothers. She wasnt getting anything about my Mum, well not directly but there were a few things that applied to her. I told her why I was there and asked a few questions that she was able to answer. I didn’t get my hopes about it so I wasn’t too disappointed by what she was or wasn’t telling me. She did say about my Mum that she had gone too soon and was pretty accurate about exactly what was wrong with her.
Some parts were certainly accurate, she told me I had wanted to be a teacher and that I felt I wasn’t living up to my potential and I needed to do something about that. She saw me teaching but maybe not mainstream. That was accurate as I trained as an adult literacy tutor last year and would like to take that a bit further. She said that since December things had gotten very hard for me and that I was in a situation that I wasn’t happy with (work)

She said I wasn’t very interested in men and that I had a lot of issues within myself that I needed to work out before I could progress relationship wise. She also told me that I over analyzed everything and that was holding me back. She gave me a lot of names of people who were in my life which was a bit strange. Before I left I drew my “angel” cards and she saw a daughter in my future but again I’m taking that with a pinch of salt. She mentioned about eating for comfort, not necessarily with me (even though I know I do) but with someone around me.  She mentioned a  2 stone weigh tloss which WILL be me.

Personality wise I would say she was dead on. Regarding the spirits, yes there was some correct information, there was some bits that I didn’t have a clue about but thats OK. Would I go again? Probably not. I was curious, I wanted to see what it was like and now I’ve satisfied that curiosity.

Apart from that I’m still on the job hunt. I feel a bit better about things knowing that I’m being proactive about getting things sorted. I really do want to do a course in September but that’s proving difficult with this job as I wouldn’t be finished in time I do feel like I’m not living up to my potential and that’s spurring me on.

Diet wise I’ve been hitting a bit of a plateau so I’m doing a boot camp with some of the other IPDers. The only problem with that is that once I knew I was doing a boot camp I ate all around me over the weekend. I’m back on track now and giving the IPD another strict 2 weeks. If that doesn’t work I may join Littlemisswonders doing Unislim at home. I’m also doing to up my exercise again and  really aim to reach my Christmas goal.

Q & A

Came across this earlier and thought you may (or may not) be interested in some information about me. Anyway, here goes.

1. What time did you get up this morning?  8:30 (day off but wanted to get to the gym)

2. Diamonds or pearls? Pearls, its not just politics but I think diamonds are overhyped

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Star Trek and I can admit it turned me into quite the Trekkie.

4. What’s your favorite TV show? I like too many to pick a favourite!

5. What did you have for breakfast this morning? 2 mini Babybel

6. What’s your favorite cuisine? Chinese

7. What foods do you dislike? Lamb and Celery- bleughh

8. What is your favorite crisp flavor? Ready Salted/Prawn Cocktail

9. What’s your favorite CD at the moment?.Dont listen to CDs much its all about the iPOD but I’ve been listening to a lot of classic Madonna lately

10. What kind of car do you drive? Kia Picanto, I’ll be changing it as soon as I start earning proper money again.

11. What is your favorite sandwich? Toasted ham, cheese, tomato and onion

12. What is your favorite type of clothing? Dresses, I need some nice new ones.

13. Where would you like to travel to? Asia

15. What color is your bathroom? Blue and White

16. Favorite brand of clothing? I’m not into brands, if I like it I’ll buy it regardless

17. Where would you retire to? Netherlands or Australia

18. Favorite time of the day? Early evening

19. What was your most memorable birthday? My 21st, had a great party at home.

20. Where were you born? Cork.

21. Favorite sport to watch? Ice-skating, yes it is a sport!

22 Were you named after anyone? My middle name is the same as my Mums and was my great-grandmothers name

23. Do you wish on stars? Yes

24. Do you like your handwriting? Sometimes, when it’s neat.

25. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Yes.

26. Are you a daredevil? I wish I was but not really

27. Do looks matter? For first impressions I think they do somewhat but they shouldn’t

28. How do you release anger? I tend to bottle it up and then explode, its not big or clever but thats me.

29. Where is your second home? Cardiff

30. What were your favorite toys as a child? My toy flower house and Barbies

31. What class in high school was totally useless? Maths, I just couldnt get it.

32. What are your favorite movies? All About Eve, The Wrath of Khan,To Kill a Mockingbird, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner, The Color Purple, Ghost.

33. What are your living arrangements? Until I can afford a house I live with my Dad.

34. What are your nicknames? Siobh,

35. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Never

36. Do you think that you are strong? Yes, for various reasons I’ve had to be

37. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Pistachio

38. What are your favorite colors? Lilac

39. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? My body issues.

40. Who do you miss the most? My Mum and my Nan

41. What color pants are you wearing? Grey (they’re not old they’re meant to be!)

42. What are you listening to right now? Emmerdale

43. Last thing you ate? A pork chop and cauliflower cheese

44. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Pink, you’d have to press really hard to see me!

45. Last person you talked to on the phone? A recruitment agency

46. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Height

47. Favorite drink? Vodka or Diet Coke but not together

48. Do you wear contacts? No, glasses

49. Favorite day of the year? Christmas Eve

50. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy Endings

51. Summer or winter? Winter

52. Hugs or kisses? Hugs

53. What is your favorite dessert? Ice-cream or cheesecake

54. What book(s) are you reading? I’ve just re-read The Diary of Anne Frank for the 100th time.

55. What’s on your mouse pad?  I dont have one

56. What did you watch last night on TV? Four Weddings on Living TV.

57. Favorite smells? The Sea, Freshly cut grass, clean clothes

58. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Beatles.

59. What’s the furthest you’ve been away from home? Australia

60.What do you hate dislike about where you live? Xenophobia and racism which I’m sorry to say are still rife in Ireland.

Letting off Steam

Apologies in advance of for this moany sounding post but I’m venting a bit.

So I started the new job on Tuesday, I went in with as much as possible a pretty open mind and….it sucks. The job itself is OK but to be very honest I’ve moved on from it, the real problem is the company itself, what I’ve seen so far I really don’t like. It seems to be a few people “in charge” who are on power trips. Yes, I know that happens in a lot of places but this is pathetic little things.

My main problem is money (which is pants btw). Basically I was offered a “managerial position” but I’ve since found out that the money isn’t any different to what the others are getting paid. The main benefit is that I must leave my phone on while I’m off and take responsibility for things that happen when I’m not there. Go me! Also I asked before I started did I have to work a week in advance and was told no. Only to be informed when payday rolled around that in fact I did. Add to this fact that they have sent me for “training” and I use that word loosely, in a town about an hours drive from where I live (even though they have a location in my town) so I’m paying for petrol and parking and getting no expenses. There’s also been a lot of pettiness that I’ve seen already in regards to holidays, days off, breaks etc. I do understand that it cant be a free for all but a bit of flexibility makes for a much better atmosphere (in my view)

When I worked in this job before for a different company customer service was the most important aspect, we did plenty of courses in this and its been an asset to me as I’ve moved into a different career. Here in this job that doesn’t seem to matter and I’ve been a bit shocked by their attitude to things . By nature I’m a pretty polite person, I say please and thank you and I always try and bring this into my work. I do know I was a bit spoilt by the last company I worked for, this crowd could learn a lot from them about creating a good working environment (damn recession).

Now, I’m fully aware that some of these may sound like small things and that I wasn’t that excited about the job in the first place but you know sometimes when you get a gut feeling about things and it seems that my one for this was pretty right. I know it’s a job and in these tough times I should be grateful but. life’s too short to just be grateful

Anyway the only positive is that its spurred me on to get my ass in gear and get something better. When I wasn’t working I was getting a bit complacent but now I’m determined to get something better. I’m trawling the recruitment sites, getting back onto the agencies and determined to get my life back on trace.

Wish me luck!

Things can only….

Yes, its cheesy, yes it’s old but at the moment it’s what I need to hear!

Song Of The Week

I love this song and always repeat it when it comes on my iPod. The video is a bit mad but give it a chance, it’s perfect for the song.
Have a great weekend!

Preconceptions

I was standing at the self service queue in Tesco this morning (behind someone who was taking forever to scan some grapes, but that’s another story). As I waited I overheard a young girl, aged between 8-10 from what I can see. She seemed to be talking to an older cousin or aunt and the gist of the conversation was that she was horrified that her companion had some Tesco Value products in her basket, in fact what she said exactly was “I hope no-one sees what’s in your basket, they’ll see the value stuff you have and throw coins at us cos they’ll think we’re poor”. The girls with her laughed and commented that what she was saying was a bit conceited to which the child replied “We never have stuff like that at home, we can afford better”

Now, part of me smiled but another part was a bit incredulous at what I was hearing. When I was that age I just knew that food came from the supermarket, the brand, be it Earl Grey or Lyons didn’t phase me. Just to prove her point the girl called her mother over who backed her up on only ever buying what they perceived to be quality goods. It honestly didn’t sound like a statement a child would come out with all by herself anyway so she was obviously repeating something she’s heard at home or from an adult.

Fair enough, each to their own. When I shop it tends to be a mix of brands from a mix of stores. I’m quite fussy about meat so that tends to come from the butchers. Veg a lot of the time comes from Lidl as I find that it’s a lot better quality, reasonably priced and lasts longer that what I’ve gotten elsewhere. I also buy cheese in Lidl as they have a better choice. I dont drink milk but at home we get the Tesco brand as they prefer it, likewise I don’t eat biscuits (at the moment) but we generally get the Tesco Rich Tea or Digestives, there isn’t a huge difference in taste and they are a lot better value.

People complain all the time about Rip Off Ireland, myself included but at least now there are options for those on less of a budget. I remember a few years ago in the town I live there were two supermarkets and both were owned by the same man- competition I think not. I’ve noticed with the recession that a lot more people are shopping in the likes of Lidl, Aldi etc as well because we’re more aware of what we’re spending these days.

When it comes down to it a lot (not all I know) of cheaper products are cheaper as they save on packing and advertising costs. As regards taste, that’s down to the individual. As far long as I’m concerned if I like it  I’ll buy it regardless of the brand and if someone looks in my basket and “throws me a coin because I’m poor” then I’ll add it to my holiday fund!!

Get To Work

Still a bit ho-hum about this new job but I cannot wait to start earning money again! Have so many things I need to get and really need to start saving up- I hate not having a rainy day fund. I’m also in a kind of “unemployed routine” that’s all very well on a temporary basis but I need to snap out of it before its too late.

I’m meant to be starting on Tuesday and my philosophy with the job now is just to go in with an open mind, do my best but keep looking for something else in my field with a bit more money (cos the money in this one is pants-pretty insulting really but more than the dole) and one that doesn’t involve working Saturdays. That may sound fickle and a bit “beggers can’t be choosers but it’s time to stop worrying what other people think and do what’s right for me.

I’m the type of person who’s always been really loyal to where I’ve worked- I worked in one place for 5 years and my last job I was there for 2 1/2 years and would have still been there now I’m sure if it wasn’t for the way the business was affected by the economy. It sucks that the company is gone now as such because it was such a great place to work, now more of my friends have lost their jobs in the last couple of weeks so I hope things work out for them as well.

Wherever I’ve worked I’ve always made friends, I know its not important for everyone to get along with their workmates and believe me there’s been a few along the line who I never want to see again but its nice to have someone to have a laugh and a chat (and a bitch) with. So who’s to say this new place won’t be any different. We’ll just have to wait and see.